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I feel different.Frankly unsure of how.Only time will tell.

I feel broken.My body is telling me to slow down.Time and choices I’ve made has robbed me of soft happiness.When your vision is out of focus, you miss the important stuff. You really do. I’m torn between what life has in store for me versus what I am actively working towards. I’m devastated.

You finally work up the courage to walk through that door. A silence comes over the room… Why?

I can’t keep this up.What’s the fashion this season?I shrug my shoulders.

I can’t sleep.My mind races knowing that I made a mistake.I showed you my cards without absolute certainty that you felt the same. Being in the same room as you is torture. I continue to hold my breath, until there’s tension in my chest… This has never gone away and comes back in waves.I drop…

Unspoken words dance across the table as we catch each others glaze.A cheeky grin, a nervous laugh; as quickly as we lock eyes, we look away. I’m terrified of what I would say, if I was ever brave enough to say anything at all. I have these visions of how the conversation would go, often…

My motto has always been:You don’t get what you don’t ask for. But am I asking for too much?I need to know how to move forward… with or without you in my life

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